Last Rant On Nerd Rock!! 

The Look of TODAY and YESTERDAY..from badboy rockers to nerdy farmer-librarians

Yeah...so what THE FUCK happened??

Ok… we know that its not nice to slag on people's looks but c'mon…we just cannot stop from poking fun at the way some of the 'rock' bands (and yes, the quotes were intentional) look these days.

Yes, I'm probably going to get beat up by someone after I post this, but its totally worth it J Am I saying that I'm better, or that the look of other generations was better?? I suppose its all up to a matter of opinion –I'll let you decide.

So here we go… in the 70's we had "Rock", and in the 80's we had "Hair Metal" (matter of fact I never heard it called this until the 90's -who makes this shit up??) and in the 90's we had "Grunge Rock", or "Alt-Rock".

                     70's....80's and 90's all had some cool looking rockers! 

All three of these decades had some cool bad-assed looking rock stars… but somewhere along the way this morphed into an an endless sea of Ugly Bettys. How on earth did this happen?? The grand-daddys of Geek I believe started with Weezer, who went on to influence a whole new generation of musician fashion-crime.

So what on earth do we call this decade?? Well ladies and gentlemen I have a solution! I say we call this the decade of "Nerd Rock". Why would I call it this you may ask?? Dear reader… please move on to the pics below for enlightenment!

Let's start off with Alexisonfire… Am I watching an episode of Trailer Park Boys here!!?? Is that really you Bubbles?? Like WTF is up with this promo shot? Is this supposed to sell more CDs? I totally don't get it.

Next on my rant list is Fall Out Boy –endorsed even by the great Tommy Lee!! Tommy… what are you thinking?? Dude in the ball cap looks like he's about to pump my gas at the local Esso station, maybe offer me an oil change. Isnt that the Meathead someplace in the back there from All in the Family??

Next are the wonders of rock Against Me...yeah good name... More 'farmer meets library geek' look.

Moving right along... here we have all 47 members of The Arcade Fire. Like… who is that dude on the far left in the glasses?? When the fuck did Napoleon Dynamite join this band?? I swear it's him! Then again, he can easily go unnoticed since there's just so many members of this group! Plus the real Napoleon was bad-ass compared to that guy!

             Bizarro-world Napoleon?                                             The REAL Napoleon!

Just when we're looking for some strong rock n roll bands to deliver some powerful music and shows... what does the industry give us?? The Weakerthans!!! WTF?? Does that mean you're weaklings? Weaker than who? Do you suck? Well if the wind is strong it DOES appear that it might blow these guys away! Looking more like a cross between a German Oktoberfest troupe and east coast fishermen than a rock band, we see the Weakerthans putting on a tough pose below:

And below we have the ultra-cool band name (that's a whole other rant –see below) 'Modest Mouse'. Keep the girls off these slick lookin' boys, lest they get their clothes torn away from unruly female fans! Dude in the back is actually sporting a John Deere t-shirt!! I betchya John has more groupies than these guys! And when the fuck did looking like a FARMER become cool??

BAND NAMES??

Now lets start on the names of some these new geek bands. I really do not understand where the inspiration came from for some of these. Here are some popular bands that are being featured and basically shoved down our throats on our local 'rock' radio stations:

OK Go:… 'OK get lost' already is more like it!

The Kooks: –it used to be cool to The "Somethings"  eg. The Rolling Stones, The Sex Pistols, but… The Kooks?? WTF?? Who wants to be known as that?

The Arctic Monkeys: See above

The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus –I'm not even going to go into this one…

Tokyo Police Club: WTF? Are you fraternity cops from Japan??

MuteMath: I cant think of anything to say

Snow Patrol: What? Are you patrolling for snow? Looking for some to plow? Maybe you should start since your tunes may not end up paying the bills in a few years

Plants And Animals: That's pretty much all who'll be listening to your crap in 2 years

Track And Field All Stars: Ya gotta be kidding me...Puh-fucking-lease!!

The Weepies: I actually start to cry every time I realize that these guys actually got a record contract!

Gnarls Barklay: if you guys think you're gonna get laid 1% of what Charles did, then you're dreaming.

I could go on and on and on and on… and I know many of you hate me for saying this but I needed to get this off of my chest. We now live in the decade of the Nerd, and maybe that's what I am as well. But when I was growing up it was not cool to look like Steve Urkel, and the concept of the alpha male was alive and well. Everything has a trend, and all trends come and go. I just cant wait for this particular trend to get beat up in the school parking lot and go away!!